Movie Review: TERI MERI KAHAANI (2012) – Three Times The Terrible

Published by Shah Shahid on

It’s been a while since I’ve seen a horrible Bollywood movie, so I guess this was overdue. This installment of terrible ass love stories from Indian Cinema comes in the form of the nonsensical TERI MERI KAHAANI.

Rating: 1 Out Of 5 Stars

three times the crap…

Directed by Kunal Kohli whose has some good films to his name, but this time he further shows how inconsistent he really is with his filmmaking.

TERI MERI KAHAANI is about 3 different love stories, in 3 different generations… where Shahid Kapoor & Priyanka Chopra always plays the couples. That’s it. That’s all the story is about. Truly innovative and abstract storytelling right? At least I assume that’s what everyone behind this thought when they were making this trash.

At first, we see Shahid & Priyanka in the 60’s, where she’s an actress and he’s a struggling musician… they meet, it’s cute, they fall in love, and then… due to a misunderstanding which involved Shahid’s character being a dick… there is heartbreak! Then Poof! We’re in another time. FYI: I’m foregoing the names of each of their characters, because it honestly does not matter.

image courtesy: GlamSham.com

So we’re immediately transported to 2012, and we see new and updated, more ‘modern’ looks for both of them, and again… they meet, it’s cute, they fall in love, and then… again due to Shahid’s character being a dick… there’s heartbreak.

2012: dickishness follows immediately after this…

Then the exact same thing happens again! This time it’s like 19-something before India’s independence from the British. The specifics differ, but Shahid’s character is a dick yet again… and heartbreak!

So after this happens 3 times, in 3 different times. You’re wondering… WTF?! I thought the same. There is no connectivity between the 3 couples, no family history… they have nothing to do with each other. At the end of it all, of course, as Bollywood love stories go… there’s a happy ending. Only this time, there are 3 happy endings. All that come about just as inexplicably as the issues that happened in the 1st place.

19-something: again, dickish-ness will follow this…

For the sake of a comprehensive review, let’s focus on one of the instances of dickish-ness: The pre-Independence era sequence shows us the problem as being that Shahid went to jail for a while for defying the British, to impress Priyanka’s character, in order to redeem his earlier behavior of being a coward. He’s released and comes home to his sweetheart hoping to have found that redemption and be able to live happily ever after with her, only to find her married to someone else. (The heartbreak that I referred to earlier)

he just grabbed a married woman’s hand in public… why isn’t he being stoned?!

However, at the end of the movie, when the movie is wrapping up all 3 storylines for a happy ending, we return to this sequence where Shahid’s getting married to some other chick and Priyanka shows up to see him ‘one last time’. Naturally Shahid then says ‘fuck off’ to his parents (not literally) and the girl he was supposed to marry (who by the way, is all decked out waiting a the Mosque, whose life is now ruined, given that it’s uber conservative times) just to be able to marry the now apparently newly widowed Priyanka.

What?! They don’t even explain that she’s a widow. We just see her in white, implying in the culture that she’s now a widow, so we assume she is. Without any explanation, the reasons which created problems for each couple from the get go, are all ignored in an instance, as we go from one era to the next and see everyone patching up and all is well and it’s another song worthy scene.

Bollywood love stories have a stigma against them to begin with, but to compound the problem with 3 of the same horrible shit stories in one movie is inexcusable.

Priyanka’s performance in SAATH KHOON MAAF showed her maturity as an actress and quite possibly signaled an era of better roles and better choices, which this movie wasn’t. Shahid Kapur is an amazing actor with horrible choices in roles. His best role to date, I think, was KAMINEY, which is sad given how many films he’s actually done.

TERI MERI KAHAANI is a ridiculous movie, even by Bollywood standards. The 3 couple format, means we spent less time seeing each couple on screen, thereby having less time to relate to them or even like them. Making us not at all give a shit about their problems afterwards. Especially when, by the 2nd couple’s story, you realize it’s going happen again and are irritated when it does.

TERI MERI KAHAANI is a prime example why there is such a stigma against Bollywood love stories of being horrible trash not worthy of any time at all, by South Asians and non South Asians alike.


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Shah Shahid

Entertainment Writer | Film & TV Critic | Bollywood Blogger | Host of Split Screen Podcast | Proud Geek Girl Dad

7 Comments

Keyur Seta · January 29, 2013 at 12:15 PM

Lol! Wonderfully expressed.
I had taken Kunal Kohli’s interview just before the release and it was my most non-enjoyable interview because of his starry attitude.
By the way, I loved the term ‘newly widowed’. 😛

Keep writing!

Cheers 🙂

    Shah Shahid · January 29, 2013 at 12:45 PM

    OMG you’ve met Kunal Kohli?! Can you get me an autograph?? I apologize for that outburst. I was thinking of the innovative Director and apparent one hit wonder behind HUM TUM. Not this derivative piece of…. I digress.

    Thanks for commenting Keyur. Positive feedback from a professional such as yourself gives my immature rambling a lot more credibility. 😀
    I won’t stop if you won’t. 😉

    Thanks again.

      Keyur Seta · January 29, 2013 at 7:58 PM

      Lol! I took his interview on phone. And please don’t apologize yaar. It was nicely done 😀

      Pleasure is mine Shah. By the way, even I am not so mature or experienced 😀 Ab tak pair jama raha hoon 🙂

      Warm regards,

      Keyur 🙂

        Shah Shahid · January 30, 2013 at 9:13 AM

        Thanks again Keyur.
        By the way, you should include a ‘Follow by Email’ button on your Site. I don’t use an RSS Reader so am always missing out on your latests posts.

        Just a thought.

          Keyur Seta · January 30, 2013 at 12:12 PM

          Thank you Shah for your interest in reading my posts. Just recently, I tried putting it but it didn’t happen. Will ask my talented friend and do it. But you can still subscribe by going into the comments section and ticking ‘Notify me of new posts by email’ option. Just do it once on any post and you will receive all new posts in your inbox 🙂

          Thanks again!

Kathy · January 30, 2013 at 4:45 AM

I’d completely forgotten that this movie even existed. Ick. You make a good point about Shahid Kapoor’s poor role choices. A few years ago, his films were guaranteed to open in at least three or four Chicago area theaters. But like Vivek Oberoi, Shahid’s chosen enough duds in recent years that his films are only guaranteed to open in the one or two theaters that feature new Hindi movies every single week. Even then, those films don’t usually stick around for long.

    Shah Shahid · January 30, 2013 at 9:11 AM

    I wish I could forget Kathy. 😐
    I like that you mentioned Vivek Oberoi. I put them both the same class of talented actors, with very bad agents / choice of movies. I wonder if Shahid would ever do a Ram Gopal Varma movie…

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